| Meredith, 30, had been married to Ralph, 32, for | | | | indifferent, and insensitive to their needs and to the |
| more than six years. She was a stay-at-home wife | | | | issues that affect their relationship. They say that |
| and he was a top business executive. Ralph's work | | | | men spend too much time at the office and neglect |
| has kept him so busy that he really thinks that he | | | | their duties as husband and father. Women feel |
| has no time to start a "family." His frequent business | | | | angry when men go home only to spend time in |
| travels have kept him away from home several | | | | front of the t.v. or go out to have drinking sprees |
| days, and even weeks at a time. Like a typical | | | | with their friends. Men, on the other hand, complain |
| workaholic, Ralph has made same mistake committed | | | | that women are so boisterous, jealous, and nag all |
| by many career-driven husbands --- neglecting his | | | | the time. |
| wife. This situation has even made Meredith think | | | | So, how can men and women in marriage deal with |
| that Ralph and really married to his career and not to | | | | their marital problems? The first step that couples |
| her. Meredith and Ralph had been fighting more than | | | | should take is to improve the way how they |
| ever before and it was pretty obvious that there | | | | communicate with each other. Shown below are |
| was already a serious problem with their marriage. | | | | some of the ways how couples can improve their |
| She accuses him of being cold and indifferent, and he | | | | communication skills in marriage: |
| accuses her of being a nagger. All their marital | | | | 10 Ways to Communicate Effectively |
| woes have caused them enormous stress and | | | | 1. No name calling and don't make any threats. |
| anxiety. | | | | 2. Don't interrupt when your spouse is still |
| Aside from financial trouble, infidelity, and problems | | | | speaking. |
| with the in-laws, many marriages suffer from the | | | | 3. Don't dominate the discussion and stay on the |
| simple lack of communication. Like Meredith and | | | | same topic or issue at hand. |
| Ralph, many couples fail to resolve their problems | | | | 4. Listen and pay attention to what the other is |
| early on. As a result, couples grow further apart | | | | saying. |
| and are left to struggle with their respective anger | | | | 5. Respect each other and be prepared to make |
| and frustration. Instead of speaking with each other | | | | changes in the way you think, feel, and behave. |
| as adults, many couples resort to withdrawal or the | | | | 6. Avoid mentioning or bringing up past mistakes |
| "silent treatment." In many cases, couples have | | | | and old resentments. |
| already formed the way they communicate based on | | | | 7. Don't assume too much that you know what |
| how their own parents communicated with each | | | | your spouse is thinking or feeling. |
| other. A person who grew up with parents who | | | | 8. Don't presume that you're always "right" in |
| constantly fight has the tendency to be | | | | any argument. |
| argumentative too. A person who was raised by | | | | 9. Try to meet half-way or compromise. |
| parents who ignored each other whenever they had | | | | 10. Be honest and acknowledge the validity and |
| problems may have the tendency to ignore his | | | | importance of each other feelings. |
| partner and his own problems in marriage. | | | | Many couples forget that simple affirmation or small |
| It is said that it takes two to tango and it takes two | | | | acts of love and kindness can do wonders for their |
| to argue. But many marriages end up in separation | | | | marriage. A warm hug or attentively listening to your |
| or divorce precisely because the couple even evades | | | | spouse can bring back a semblance of peace, love, |
| quarrels and just chooses to ignore their problem. | | | | and respect in your relationship. Indeed, one of the |
| With mutual "silent treatment," a couple denies their | | | | keys to a lasting marriage is effective |
| own opportunity to discuss and hopefully resolve | | | | communication. Given enough time and lots of |
| their problem. And when they do talk, the couples | | | | patience, any couple on the rocks can revive their |
| would often just exchange accusations and even hurl | | | | marriage. It just takes a lot of listening and kind |
| invectives at one another. | | | | words to make your marriage a real match made in |
| Many women complain that men are so cold, | | | | heaven. |